I’m only using that thread title as it did make me laugh a bit. However things really haven’t been great at all this week and gradually over recent weeks it’s gone downhill.
One of the main signs that I know my mental health is deteriorating is:
A feeling that I’m not really switched on or alert. It’s almost like I’m listening under water and at times it feels like I need a few seconds to catch up on something someone has just said. I also feel like I’m slurring my words.
An example of the above is that I sent my Brother a birthday card with absolutely NOTHING written in it. Just a blank card. I know this is probably just a silly thing that anyone could do. But for me it highlights the fact I’m just not concentrating or thinking straight. Also after he told me I felt like an absolute idiot and kind of thought “that’s bloody typical of me!!!”.
Other signs – probably ones you can guess and the ones listed in text books are:
- Far lower self esteem and self confidence
- Beating myself over stupid mistakes or feeling under valued
- Emotional – not in the whole blubbering my eyes out, but just fragile I guess
- No motivation to do anything productive or physically active – e.g. exercise, tidy the house, even work
- Easily annoyed – e.g. tiny things will make me more tense than normal and get to me
- Wanting to be alone rather than be in the company of anyone
Yesterday was one of the worst days for a little while. I actually ended up sitting in my car for a while and thought about going to the Doctor although I’m not sure what that would achieve. I definitely do not want time off work, and I don’t think it would help. I don’t want medication either.
I spoke to a friend last night and think I made the decision to start seeing someone – a counsellor or whatever you’d refer to them as. I did see one about 5 years ago after a long term relationship ended and it helped me a lot.
Anyway, I’m still a bit up and down but at least I have a bit of a plan. Bye for now, have a great weekend ya’all!